Is your Outer Life a Reflection of your Inner Life? And 3 Tips to Overcome Overwhelm

Sometimes in life, we get lost along the way. Maybe our relationship isn’t making sense, or something has changed in our lives, altering our world views. Perhaps a loved one got sick or lost a job, or you feel that you are just out of control for whatever reason in your life. Maybe you don’t feel like yourself or even know who “yourself” is supposed to be? Often, we look to the internet to give us some insight into our moments of madness. Many gurus will ask you to look within and get clarity on what you want or how you feel. I think this is a crucial part of the process of healing and discovering our authentic selves. However, it’s challenging to get to clarity when you’re not, well, clear about anything. 

I’ve been in that spot many times in my life where I thought I was so clear about something I could feel it only to realize that it wasn’t for me at all. Now, these life lessons are important, but it messes with you a little bit when you are working so hard toward something that you see as a part of you, and it’s just not at all what you are supposed to be doing with your life. This is when we start internalizing feelings of failure, disconnecting from ourselves, or grasping at straws to become the “new me” version of ourselves. So again, I will reiterate that deep introspection is essential in anyone’s journey to self-discovery and authenticity. But I don’t believe that’s where we should begin. I believe if you are taking this journey to improve your life and get on the path from chaos to calm, you should start with the outside. 

I believe what we show on the outside reflects how we feel on the inside. Our outer life reflects our inner life, and if we don’t acknowledge what is going on outside of us, it’s tough to shift our mindset and change on the inside. If I were to envision how I view this topic in my mind, it would be pretty graphic. I imagine our surroundings are the results of our inside vomit spewing out into the world. It just keeps coming and keeps jacking us up. 

Now, please don’t go all Marie Kondo on me. As much as I love her work, you just get overwhelmed and do nothing if you decide to tackle everything. Then we are back to square one. 

Here are a few tips you can tackle now to bring calm into your environment:

1. Journaling - I will say it again and again. Journaling is a very powerful tool to get to the root of what you feel, need, and want out of life. It’s also a way to get out what you need to do or should be doing. I’m a massive proponent of automate-eliminate-delegate. Journaling is a way to automate our brain. Even if it’s just a pad of paper by your bedside, it’s a way to get the thoughts out of your brain and contained. When we hold onto everything inside, we clog up our pathways for actual presence in our life.  
2. Systems - Systems are the key to creating calm in our lives and controlling the chaos. I prefer the term systems to routines. Routines can feel boring and constrictive, right? With so many things pulling at me daily, it’s challenging to stick to the same routine all the time. But systems keep me accomplished and provide for flexibility. I never had more hours in my day in my life than when I finally implemented the systems I needed to run my well-oiled life. It’s taken some trial and error on my part, but I genuinely feel like I am thriving for the first time. An easy way to start building your systems is something I termed “Stream and Clean.” I would make a note in my phone or my journal and choose one thing that I could declutter and clean and one thing that I could streamline. Just ONE, overachievers! Make sure you start very, very, small. For example, I might spend a week streamlining by creating an organization system for the paperwork coming into the house. This same week I might decide to reorganize the linen closet to make it more functional. They are small tasks and small spaces that make a big difference. Once your stream and clean activities start adding up, you create a space and system that works for you without even realizing it.   
3. As I stated above, automate-eliminate-delegate is a game-changer. It’s just as it says. What in your life is causing the most significant road bumps to calm? For me, groceries were a major headache. As a family, health is a big priority for us in this phase of our life. Grocery shopping and meal planning are necessary, but I can’t spend hours each week on this. So I’ve automated a system that makes meal planning super quick, and I order pickup or have my groceries delivered. Huge life hack! I have also subscribed to dinner boxes that send me all the ingredients, so it’s already planned out for me. Game changer!

So the goal really is to go outside of ourselves first. Find out what is really consuming time and energy inside of your brain and body that doesn’t necessarily further your goals for your life. How can you systematize these or automate-eliminate-delegate them? Can you imagine what you will do with all of the extra time spent on these tasks that you’ll now have? How much more you can do for...YOU? Because you need it, and you deserve it. Don’t ever forget that. 

XOXO, Kindra