The Human Experience and The Secret Social Media Doesn't Want You to Know

The purpose of my blog has always been to share my story in all its messy glory so that I might help people going through similar struggles. I do this by sharing the science of my education, real-world experience of tried and true methods, and wisdom that only comes with age. A kind of crash course, if you will. Do you know those old choose-your-own-adventure novels? It's like that so you can make better, more informed choices tailored to you and your lived experience. 

When we experience things in life and health that frustrate us at every turn, it's easy to feel insecure. Especially if we don't have healthy co-regulation, such as supportive environments or relationships that create safety in our lives and allow for transformation. Many, many people feel they are walking a long and lonely road. When punches keep coming, isolating ourselves further is even easier. We feel alone, broken, ashamed, and unworthy. We think that if we don't have it figured out, we can't possibly be useful to anyone else. What do I have to give when my life doesn't feel good enough or look good enough? Throw in the social media comparison trap, and we can quickly find ourselves on a downward spiral to hopelessness. Everyone else has it all figured out but me, right? But this isn't true at all, and here is what you're missing when you experience these thoughts or feelings:

First, the human experience is universal. We all go through the same pain, the same struggle, and the same identity crises. The vehicle or path we took to get there may look different from person to person. Our life events and circumstances are unique, but our internal experiences are the same. We all share the same menu of emotions and are just trying to get from point A to point B somewhat intact and hopefully a little better for it. 

Second, I will share a big secret to life that nobody talks about; it never ends until it's over. Again, it ain't over until it's over. Groundbreaking, right? You might be thinking, no shit, this is why I'm exhausted and over it. But, I don't think we REALLY remember, in our day-to-day lives and problems, that life is always happening, and sometimes you have control, and some of it, you don't. 

When we compare ourselves to others or look for someone to help us, we get very enamored with what's known as the hero's journey. The hero's journey is a story arc in many films and literature. The hero gets slapped in the face by life, hits rock bottom, has an epiphany, and is changed forever. The hero's journey fascinates us because it makes us feel hope. We want to see it's possible to change and overcome adversity. It's inspiring, right? The woman with the powerful weight loss story, the man who lost everything and became a millionaire, and the burned-out professional who sold everything to travel the world. It's all so very appealing and sexy, right? It gives us a sense of hope; if I can find what I'm looking for, or that one secret that I don't know, or get that one opportunity, everything will be different and change forever. 

But what the influencers and people of the world forget to share is the fact that the hero's journey never ends. In our lifetime, our hero's journey happens again and again. But, instead of starting at the bottom and ending at the top, you have something that looks a bit more like a roller coaster with plenty of ups and downs. It's not an arc at all. It's a series of hills and valleys that lasts throughout our lifetime. 

So when you are worried about your life compared to someone else or worry that you have nothing to offer the world, take a step back and remember that everyone is always learning. And if they claim to have it all figured out, they are LYING. They might not think they're lying, but they will have their date with destiny, where everything they thought they knew is flipped upside down. 

At least, I hope everyone is constantly learning because once we stop seeking and lose our curiosity, we stop growing and start dying. As "they" say, it ain't over till the fat lady sings. (This saying seems highly problematic)...but the point is circumstances can change, and we cannot predict the outcome. But we do know for sure that difficulties will come again. It is the ebb and flow of life. How we handle difficult moments sets us up for success in our hero moments.

There is much more to your story than the page you are on. So take your next chapter and write it how you want it. Then if that doesn't feel right, feel free to bring your eraser and make significant edits. Personally, I think what's worse than turmoil and despair is living an unlived life. I would rather have the mess and the heartbreak that comes with the human experience than live in my shell and have a mere existence to show for it in the end. 

So I'll keep sharing all the mess. Thank you very much. And hopefully, my mess can be a blueprint for someone else's struggle, and maybe their life will be a little less complicated in return. Then, they can share that blueprint with the next person. I mean, that is how legacy is created, right? The history of our humanity is simply a collection of stories handed down to educate and assist the next generation, and what a legacy we all have to leave in this world. It's extraordinary. You are extraordinary. Don't forget that part.